I have discovered that my life is totally dependent on the internet and e-mail, which means I am dependent on wifi. When the wifi started to fail a few days ago, as evidenced by the lights going off on my modem, I found myself marooned, shipwrecked on an island, alone in a sea, with nothing to occupy my time, unable to communicate. Life came to a stand-still. I realized that wifi is as important as a wife. or maybe more so.
When it became obvious that turning the modem off and on again would not accomplish anything, I decided I had to call the internet company HOT. I always experience withdrawal symptoms when I face this because my Hebrew is not good enough, I can hardly understand the many options that they give on the automatic messages. Finally I screwed up enough courage and called, and then navigated the plethora of indecipherable responses and more or less randomly pressed, 1, 2, 3 or more (the only language choices were Hebrew or Russian). Finally I got to talk to someone in the technical department, but she spoke Hebrew quite incomprehensible to me (either with an Arab or Ethiopian accent), so I asked her to have someone call me back who spoke English.
I was surprised when someone did actually call back fairly soon, and then I explained the situation and he checked and said there was a problem with the cable and he would send a technician – except that he could not do that until I paid my debt! What debt, my payments to HOT are made automatically by bank draft every month, and indeed I had seen that I had paid them in October. But, he said I owed them about NIS 200 for the telephone which had not been paid. In order to take care of this I would have to call customer service in the morning because they were already closed, then I would have to call back to the technical department after I paid and tell someone else the story again.
I spent the night worrying about how I would explain this situation to the customer service department. I must not start out by saying I had a problem with the modem or the wifi, because then they would transfer me to the technical department. So when I finally called and waited ca. 20 mins I had my story ready, I needed to pay my account to date so that I could get a technician sent to take care of a problem in my cable. I gave her my credit card number and this worked and the girl said “hakol be’seder” (everything is OK) and then transferred me to the technical department. I explained my problem again and told them the cable had been checked and I need a technician, and they said OK we’ll send one, but not until Sunday.
I prepared myself mentally to face a whole weekend without wifi. What a hardship! Then someone called back and said he would be here that afternoon, and I got a confirmatory SMS message. Then someone called at noon and said he was on the way. When he came he did not go to see the modem but he checked the cable outside my house and then told me it was not working properly. But, then he ran through the house replacing cable connectors and miraculously the wifi began to work again. He said it would probably go again, but then they would have to do something more extensive to the cable. Then as soon as he came he was gone.
Now I am able to communicate with you through my ailing cable/wifi system. If you don’t hear from me, you know why, my wife has probably left me.