Phone Pockets

Life today is impossible without cell phones. Cell phones have fundamentally changed our lives.  We can communicate with everyone in the world in seconds, we can state our views and buy anything on-line.  Now if you enter a schoolroom the pupils are not noisy and unruly, they are sitting quietly clicking away on their cell phones, playing games or sending rude messages.

Women are clever, they carry around a bag, that they take a great deal of time and pleasure choosing, that contains all their important items, including their cell phone.  Men are not so fortunate, apart from having an obtrusive carrier on their belt, men have to put the cell phones in one of their pockets.  A breast pocket of a shirt or jacket is not convenient because the cell phone is heavy and drags it down uncomfortably.

I have discovered a previously unknown fact that the manufacturers of trousers have implemented a plan to ensure that men cannot take their cell phones out of their pockets. They have designed trouser pockets not only to be just too small, but also to have a hidden corner in which the cell phone gets caught and cannot be removed without severe contortions. Also, removing the cell phone in this way is sure to result in the touching of a button that will end the call.  If you are walking on the street and you see a man bending in an unusual manner, that you might have thought was impossible, you will find that he is in fact trying to remove his ringing phone from his trouser pocket.  Do not approach him at this moment, he may be swearing and may become violent.

What is the most difficult and dangerous situation when the cell phone rings is when you are driving and you try to remove it from your trouser pocket while sitting down.  At his angle according to tests I have conducted myself, it is impossible to remove the phone in time without crashing the car.  Of course, safety experts might say that you should not keep your cell phone in your trouser pocket, it should be on the dashboard of the car in a holder with a voice-activated electronic Bluetooth (love that name) connector.  I have one of these, but for reasons that are unclear and irrational I never use it.  So if you see me driving down the road, contorted in a vain attempt to remove the ringing cell phone from my trouser pocket, for your own safety stay clear.

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