Medical electronics

Every day we read about new innovations in medicine brought about by the application of computers and electronics.  One Israeli invention is the ability for people who are paralyzed to walk using a computerized  exoskeleton.  However, there are political aspects of this invention such that it is not allowed in the western media to mention the fact that this is an Israeli invention.  It is thought that this fact might make the recipients falter and possibly even fall.

It is now possible to produce hands and feet on a 3d printer that are made of plastic that are tailored for specific individuals.  Connections are then made between the patients nerves and the device and then normal actions can be performed as if the device were really part of the person’s body.   There are so far several drawbacks to this process, namely the person has to learn to control the device, such as not to keep trying to fondle the nurse.   This is known as the Strangelove effect.

One Israeli invention not widely known is the pill-cam, that can traverse the alimentary canal or can be injected into a vein looking for problems in the blood system.  The surgeon simply looks at the TV screen and when he sees a blockage he can take remedial action.  Of course, this can cause problems if his favorite TV series is on at the same time.  I was involved with an Israeli venture to make the physicians view into 3d and color, so that the surgeon could see inside the body as if he were actually there.  This had one drawback that sometimes the surgeon would become car sick.

Another innovation is the electronic brain scanner, you simply put on a head covering that contains many sensitive frequency detectors joined by wires and then plug it in and you can detect local brain waves.  By then doing subtle things, such as digging pins into the patient’s genitals or putting heaters onto certain sensitive skin areas, you could actually detect the pain response.  This is known as the inquisition monitor.  The scanner can also detect negative thinking.  This item is popular among Middle Eastern dictators and Russian Presidents.

The latest invention is the electronically driven suppository.  It has been well known in medical circles for a long time that some patients have difficulty in inserting suppositories where they are supposed to go.  This new invention simplifies the process, and allows the patient to adopt a bent position and then simply press a button on the electronic control.  The electronic suppository is self-propelled and equipped with the latest software derived from cruise missile technology.  Unfortunately there were a few accidents in the testing stages and a few cases resulted in legal action, and in some of them the plaintiff had to be carried into court on a stretcher.   They are the inevitable casualties of progress.  But this should not be taken as an indication that there is any danger in using the latest technology in medical science.


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