It’s my wife

Naomi, my wife, is very nurturing. She goes out shopping every day and feels she must bring back something worthwhile. Lately this has been a large package of toilet rolls. Perhaps it is the bulk of these packages that attracts her, that makes her feel that they will add to our well-being. We are now over-run with these packages, in sizes of 12, 18 and 24 rolls. We have no more place to put them.

I have asked Naomi not to buy any more and in fact not to buy anything she doesn’t know for sure that we need! We have 5 (yes 5!) jars of mayonnaise open in our fridge, and each time we need it, she opens a new one (I just stopped her last week). We have 5 different jars of marmalade open, even though she knows that I can’t eat it. She also opens a new package of instant mashed potato each time, even though there are 5 packages already opened (what’s with the number 5?).

I, on the other hand, am perfectly normal.

It so happens that our air conditioning is not working, just during this horribly hot period. I have found the best way of dealing with this is having my own personal air conditioning. I have a wet flannel over my face. Blowing air thru this definitely cools me. So I walk around carrying an electric fan on a long leash, that blows in my face. Of course, I have to keep my eyes clear so that I can see where I’m going, except when I lie down. The flannel happens to be orange, and Naomi thinks, with my naked chest and flannel pants, I look just like Yul Brynner as Pharaoh. I prefer to think that I look like Moses.

Tomorrow the air conditioning tech is supposed to be finally coming (“we’re very busy”) and then I can revert to being a normal human being, wearing clothes and sitting in chairs, etc. That is if I can find a place between the toilet rolls.

Shana tovah to all my loyal readers (and everyone else).


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